As you’ve noticed it is two weeks since I last posted. I think, with the writing and other things I am doing that I will aim for once a fortnight to publish here. I blog on another site about once a week, or when anything random enters my head, but I’ve found this could be a much harder project as it isn’t just random bloggings. Firstly I had to grapple with Substack to work out how to add another post. But there has also been more deep personal stuff going on.
Last week I was “gathering material” for my “Parenting Adult Children” project - daughter was up visiting for 3 days and then we were down with son and his wife for 3 days - and during that time I learned a lot. More about myself than anything else! And also how I need to tread carefully with this project. Not so much worrying about whether I upset my children but working out what heart I go with.
I did a couple of journaling type pieces around conversations I had had with both children, and realised how much I need to work on forgiveness so I could write clearly about the things that come with parenting adult children. It is also funny how God/the Universe collaborates to bring really make me look at something!
During the most recent writing groupthat I run we got into a long discusion about adult children, their spouses and even on to grandchildren. I mentioned about forgiveness and then set the exercise for that week of Forgiveness as a Personae I then did a blog post on my regular blog about forgiveness of self and others. But the big thing isn’t writing about it but is doing it.
I realised as I looked at these rough pieces, which I was thinking of refining into personal essays for the project, was that I need to do a lot of forgiving, of myself as much as anyone. But also onwards into the world. Perhaps I’ve reached that age of thinking/saying “it wasn’t like that in my day”. And it is true. For each and every generation things are not the same as when they were younger. There are different things to deal with. Are they harder? I’m not sure. But I know they are different.
So for now before I share anything I need to make sure it is coming from a heart that has forgiven/is forgiving, that is calm and gentle. This cannot be a name and shame project, or a ‘poor me’ project. It has to be calm and clearly writing. It will be about some of the things I have walked through/am walking through and how I am dealing with it.
No mud slinging!
Talking of mudslinging. Here is a great picture of my son and husband after they had spent half an hour driving go-karts for my son’s birthday. My son also did 40 mins of quadbiking too. Ok maybe not mudslinging but definitely dust covering!